[16.51] - can't join multiplayer server

[stonehenge51]

Factorio 0.16.51 2018-07-21 9_21_20 AM.png (2.76 MiB) Viewed 934 times

Whenever I try and join a multiplayer game. The game gets stuck downloading the game map and eventually, the server stops responding.
I have played multiplayer in the past so I'm unsure what the problem is. My friend also has this problem. my friend and I can both host games but the person trying to join a game can't and experience the above problem. just ask if you need any other info.