As mentioned above by Mythmon, I've been able to connect to the server with my laptop running windows 10 (same as my desktop) without any issue. I've even gotten out a USB Ethernet dongle so I'm going through wired like my desktop, laptop still worked fine. Perhaps when I'm feeling more ambitious I ...

I can't find anything in the more verbose logs that'd help at all.

client logs with verbose logging on and verbose save logs on, only bit redacted is server IP address

The client sits there with the downloading bar full, screenshot of the bar attached. I've tried leaving it for minutes and it never finishes. Sometimes, if someone has recently joined the server, one of my connection attempts will work making it seem like a race condition of some sort.