Make your Kim Yong Un style supervillain threats here

[Mauslag PIngman]

On April 3rd I will be setting off my hydrogen bomb powered earth jet. Under construction for the last 12 years the engine consists of massive series of underground chambers in solid granite in which we've attached an unbelievably huge directional tube and jet nozzle. When the series of bombs is set off deep underground the gases will be directed through the nozzle for about 45 minutes in unthinkably enormous quantities with the result that the earth's spin will be slowed permanently and days will get longer. The direction of the thrust is also a little north to south so in addition to the slowing of the earth's spin and the 400 foot high tidal waves, the arctic will slowly begin to move towards the equator with the result that starving polar bears will become a problem in New York City in a few years.

Thank you for your time and good luck in the coming apocalypse.

[Impatient]

if you don't succeed with the mission i gave you, you will become my personal hair licker!